Obituary: Walter Cronkite enters watery grave

At approximately 8 a.m. today, Walter Cronkite was found dead in his bowl.

He was nearly 3 months old and a Shubunkin Goldfish.

An exact cause of death could not be determined due to the lack of an autopsy, but prior to his death, he was showing signs of the ICK/ICH, which is a disease experienced by fish.

Interment for Walter took place at approximately 9:30 a.m. today by flushing him down the toilet in the handicap stall in the basement of Elliott Hall located at Wichita State University.

Walter was an avid swimmer who greatly enjoyed his goldfish flakes. His favorite pastime was starring at himself in the reflection of his 10-gallon fish tank.

He leaves behind numerous family members and three close friends that were his roommates in the tank — R. Rubi Plecostomus, Stephen G. Snail, and Scorpio the Scorpion.

“He was a great friend and will be dearly missed in the tank,” R. Rubi said. “Walter made the lives of everyone he met better, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to know his so very well.”

“He swam fast,” Stephen G. said. “I hope to move that fast one day, too. He was an inspiration.”

Memorial donations may be made to Todd Vogts.


2 thoughts on “Obituary: Walter Cronkite enters watery grave

  1. I’m still crying over Walter. However, I don’t believe that RRubi will miss him as much as I will. But I wasn’t sleeping with Walter either.

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